My depression has been bad the past few weeks...
in fact since arriving at university it's all come unraveled...
I've been running for a very, very long time, friends...
and it's caught up and this time I'm not going to keep on running, it's time to face those demons head on.
I'm still meek and mild about it, I'm taking my time, carefully and slowly I'm going to get better.
What a time to pick emotional confrontation/to have an emotional breakdown.
Finals are descending upon us and I'm barely keeping my head above water... I'm at one of the top rated prestigious universities in Canada and I'm starting to wonder if I don't belong here...
All my life Ive felt that I'm not good enough, that hasn't changed...and all I want to do is lie down and say this is pointless...
My goal seems so silly and distant now...
and I'm guilty right now, Guilty of blaming myself...guilty of feeling that my problems are stupid compared to others, guilty of asking for help, guilty for needing help to keep my heart from slipping from my fingers, guilty for what I do to myself, guilty because I can't seem to get better fast enough...
Recovery is not easy....
love yall,
Jess